Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
