let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
