shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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