I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
