OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
