we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
honey bunches of taint.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
