so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
