I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
