Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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