We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
