it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
