Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
