I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
