puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
