Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
