Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
