I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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