I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
