farters have to be the big spoon...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
So vagazzling was a success
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
