Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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