and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Randomize
