toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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