Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
