we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
