just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
