You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
there is glitter all over my balls
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