Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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