I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
So I just went to clothing optional bar
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
