i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
