Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
