I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
