Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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