i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
