So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
