How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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