3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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