I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize