I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
