I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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