apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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