She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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