Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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