I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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