i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
