I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize