My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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