So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
