i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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