Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
