I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
