I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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