I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
