As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
