We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
