guys are not supposed to queef...right?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
