Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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