Heybabeimwearingurpanties
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
