dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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