Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
