Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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