my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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