Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
