Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
