I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize