No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
