How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
